In Hell, On My Cell, Searching Up Paradise


satan-is-in-a-cell-phoneThe phone. We could answer or not. We could take it off the hook. I could be disconnected. We could change numbers and no one could find us. We could just unplug it from the wall. We could, forgive me this, LIE and say we didn’t hear the phone, or we weren’t home …

Then, the answering machine. We could leave witty greeting messages. We would return home excitedly to the blinking of the light indicating that someone cared enough to leave a message, or two, or SEVEN! Or we could save messages, or fail to delete them, and our little tape or chip would become full – and no one could reach us.

BTW, for you younger listeners … there were no personal computers. No email or social media. Earth, phone, TV. That was it.

Then came the Mobile phone – with the status symbol car antennae. My old boss, a man of means, opined: “Why would I want a phone in my car? I go for a drive to get away from the phone!”

My mom and my aunt both had the early portable phones … that required a shoulder bag, like a small piece of luggage, to operate … when they left home, it looked like they were LEAVING HOME.

Then came flip phones, slide phones, iphones, etc …

I’ll never forget the first time I was, ahem, BUSY in a public men’s room stall, alone … When in walked a man chattering away …

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast for the rest — HERE.


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