The other day I met an honest to goodness Orthodox Christian Anarchist.
I’d bought a newspaper in hopes of solving the Crossword Puzzle and scanning the Comics. I was leafing through the other sections when, in the Classifieds, I found the following job listing:
OCAL: Orthodox Christian Anarchist at Large seeks willing accomplices …
This was followed by an 800 number – stating that there were representatives available in all areas.
What the heck is an Orthodox Christian Anarchist? I wondered.
Curious, I called the number.
“You have reached the world-wide headquarters of Christian Anarchy; if you are Protestant, press one; Roman Catholic, press two; Orthodox, press three …”
So, I pressed 3.
“Welcome to Orthodox Christian Anarchy. Please leave your name and a phone number and one of our representatives shall return your call.”
I lied, I said my name was “Curtis” and gave them the church phone number, and then I hung up.
I probably shouldn’t have done it but, after a few days, I forgot all about it.
A week or so later I entered the church office just in time to hear the secretary saying: “Sir, I’ve told you three times already and I’ll tell you again, we do not have a Curtis here …”
I stood staring at her paralyzed. I motioned for her to put him on hold.
I said, “Oops, he may be looking for me … it’s a long story … see if he’ll give you a local return number, address or something.”
She did and he did … and then, I didn’t know what to do.
I watched as she scribbled down a street address.
Well, curiosity got the best of me and, long story short, I dressed down to shorts, a sport shirt, Birkenstocks, and dark glasses and headed over to …