The Pope Was a Girl?

Over at Get Religion there’s a story about THIS STORY; as one commenter wrote:

I remember an advertisement on the History Channel in which Sam Waterston recounted the story of Pope Joan as history … with a straight face.

I also remember watching some movie about the Vatican manipulating to suppress the Gospel of Thomas, which would destroy Catholic Church if it came out. At some point I realized I’d had that document on my shelf for 10-15 years. It was published shortly after being found, as were all other bizarre documents, with great fanfare, of course, from the media.

And then there’s Dan Brown.

The journalistic issue is simple dishonesty. Does it ultimately matter if stories told are true? Do facts matter?

And most of all: the Telegraph article fails to explain why Catholics would be scandalized by a woman pretending to be a man. Had the Romans knowingly elected a woman, that would be an issue. But that’s not the story.

Hmmm. Reminds me of this old story from April, 2006:

Disseive, ME — One of the first things you notice upon entering the Church of St Judas the Wonderwinker is how similar it looks to most other Orthodox Churches. That is, until closer inspection …

The icon of the Mystical Supper above the holy doors looks just like others you may have seen. However, where Judas is usually portrayed reaching across the table to dip some food, here we see Jesus reaching out and shaking Judas’s hand. If you look closely you will notice that the two buddies are winking at each other.

The same is true of the large iconic depiction of the Crucifixion; there stands a male and a female figure beneath the Cross but, rather than St John the Divine and Jesus’s mother, it’s Judas and Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene looks enraptured and, of course, Jesus and Judas are winking.

The pews of St Judas the Wonderwinker are full to capacity on this bright spring day. The priest, Miriam Knott, whose patron is Mary Magdalene, first bishop of the Resurrection, has pastored the church since its founding in 2004. “Many claim that our fame and phenomenal growth is due to Dan Brown’s book, The Da Vinci Code, and other recent discoveries,” she said. “However, I like to think that it’s all about the truth. Finally, after all these centuries, the ancient light of the truth has dawned upon us. People are hungry for the truth and here at St Judas, that’s what we’re all about.”

It is the belief of the church that, since Mary Magdalene was the first bishop of the Resurrection, only women should be ordained. However, Pastor Miriam’s ordination to the priesthood was not without controversy. See, she used to be a man. “That’s right,” she says, “I used to live my life trapped in the guise of a man.” She’s quick to add, “But God had other plans.”

“Besides, body = bad, spirit = good.

[I had to note that while I was interviewing the Priestess, she kept batting one eye. When I asked her … er, him … uh, whatever, if there was something in his/her eye, she (you know whom I’m talking about) said: “Why do you seek the speck in my eye when you’ve got a big log in your own?” Then, or so it seemed, she winked at me.]

The Liturgy at St Judas the Wonderwinker is a mish-mash of the Byzantine and Western Rites, along with a dash or two of Anglicanism and some cherished contemporary pagan rituals. During the exchange of the Peace the members greet each other with the words, “The Peace of Judas” and a wink. When I asked about the more common “Kiss of Peace,” they reacted with horror. [I later learned that since the former Scriptures portrayed Judas and kissing in a bad way, this was frowned upon.]

Most Gospel readings are taken from non-Orthodox (or, Orthodox, depending on your position) sources such as the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Judas, the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, and other so-called “Lost Books” of the Bible.

On this day, Mother Miriam blessed the Reader to read the Lesson from the book of Genesis. When I asked “you know who” why there was only an Old Testament reading appointed for that day, YKW explained, “There’s been so many lies about God and truth — from the very beginning of Creation — that we must begin at the beginning in educating God’s people.

“The Reading is from Genesis:”

Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God say, `You shall not eat of any tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but God said, `You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

“The Word of the Lord.”

And the people responded, “Thanks be to God.”

[I must say, dear reader, that I was baffled by this shortened version of the Old Testament passage. Yet, when I asked about it, I was told that so many things had been added to the Scriptures over the years — by scribes with agendas — that the struggle toward truth requires constant vigilance and careful editing.]

Since the parish is obviously concerned about the authentic and ancient truth, I asked what role modern scholarship and current science played in the life of St Judas. “Oh, you ask an important question,” YKW replied. “We are constantly finding out, through science and scholarship, the truth. New revelations are manifest daily!”

When I asked by what authority the parish made such claims, I was told that they are completely led by the spirit. “Yet,” Knott added, “not all scholarship is reliable. Some goes up in smoke.”

All in all, I must confess, all that winking made me uncomfortable. But, the faithful of St Judas the Wonderwinker assure me that it is an ancient gesture which signifies the Enlightened ones.

I forgot to ask if their Bible included this scripture: Proverbs 6:12 – 19.

Makes you wonder. Wink, wink.

Image Source

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Anna Akhmatova & St John’s Eve

Today is the birthday of Anna Akhmatova; it’s also St John’s Eve (aka Midsummer Night’s Eve).

From The Voice of Another

Don’t torment your heart with earthly joys,
Don’t cling to your wife or your home,
Take the bread from your child
To give to a stranger.
And be the humblest servant of the one
Who was your bitterest foe,
And call the beast of the forest your brother,
And don’t ask God for anything, ever.

December 1921, Petersburg, p.262.

From Lamentation

You are worshipping the Lord
In his holy courtyard.
God’s fool sleeps on the church porch,
And a star looks down at him.
And touched by an angel’s wing,
A bell begins to speak,
Not with alarm, with a voice of terror,
But saying farewell forever.
And the saints and miracle workers,
Leaving their ancient icon frames,
Come out of the cloister
Leaning on crutches.
Seraphim — to the woods of Sarov,
To shepherd the rural flocks,
Anna — no longer a princess,
To Kashin, to pull the prickly flax.
With them goes the Mother of God,
Wrapping her son in a shawl
Dropped by an old beggar woman
On the front steps of the Lord.

May 24, 1922, Petersburg, pp.275-276.

REQUIEM

No, not under the vault of alien skies,
And not under the shelter of alien wings —
I was with my people then,
There, where my people, unfortunately, were.

1961, p.384.

The Muse

How can I live with this burden?
And yet they call it the Muse.
They say: “You and she are in a meadow …”
They say: “The divine babble …”
More savagely than fever she attacks you,
Then for a whole year, not a syllable.

Summer, 1959, p.414.

From the First Notebook [Fragment]

In my room lives a beautiful
Slow black snake;
It is like me, just as lazy,
Just as cold.

In the evening I compose marvelous tales
On the rug by the fire’s red glow,
And with emerald eyes
It gazes at me indifferently.

At night the dead, mute icons hear
Resisting moans …
It’s true, I would desire another
Were it not for the serpent eyes.

But in the morning, submissive once more, I
Melt, like a slender candle …
And then from my bare shoulder
A black ribbon slides.

(1910), pp.621-622.

I’m not embarrassed by offensive remarks,
I don’t blame anyone for anything.
Just don’t give me a shameful ending
To my shameful life.

Decade of the 1910’s, p.635.

to A.A.Blok

From you came uneasiness
And the ability to write verse.

Spring, 1914, p.639.

Fragment

……………………………………..
O God, for myself I could forgive everything,
But I would rather be a hawk clawing a lamb,
Or a serpent biting someone sleeping in the field,
Than to be a human and be forced to see
What people do, and from putrid shame,
Not dare to raise my eyes to the heavens on high.

(1916), p.647.

In this church I heard the Canon
Of Andrey Krutsky one bleak day,
And from then on the Great Lent tolling,
All seven weeks, right up to Easter midnight,
Merged with chaotic shooting,
Everyone parted provisionally,
Never to meet again …

1917, Petersburg, p.650.

From the Cycle “Secrets of the Craft”

Don’t repeat — your soul is rich —
That which has been said before,
But perhaps poetry itself —
Is a single splendid quotation.

September 4, 1956, p.703.

These verses come from The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova (Expanded Edition), Translated by Judith Hemschemeyer, edited by Roberta Feeder; Zephyr Press, 1997.

Finally, her last recorded verse …

Necessity herself has finally submitted,
And has stepped pensively aside.

February, 1966, p.769.

May her memory, and that of all artists who suffered under the Godless Authorities, be eternal!

Originally posted April 2005.

Image Source

For more on St John’s Eve, Mead Moon or Honey Moonclick here.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Aidan’s Song – A Year in the Life of a Parish Priest

On a special edition of the Orthodixie Podcast, I interview the author of the new book Aidan’s Song – A Year in the Life of a Parish Priest.

The book has been compared to the Far Side cartoon and the TV show Married With Children — but nothing quite compares to Father Aidan Wilcoxson’s singing a rather surprising number on this very podcast.

Aidan’s Song
is an insightful, moving, and often hilarious personal snapshot of a year in the life of a parish priest —

Enjoy!

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

Cover by Baker Galloway

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

DIASPORADO – The Episcopal Assembly



Hat tip to tmatt, apologies to the Eagles — and hoping for fruit from the Episcopal Assembly

DIASPORADO

Diasporado, it’s time you come to your senses
You been out buildin’ fences for so long now
This land’s an odd one
God knows you’ve had your seasons
But things that once rent you
Aren’t dividing you now

Don’t you build the house on diamonds, boy
She’ll fail you, she ain’t stable
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me the finest Thing
Has been laid upon your Table
And the time is nigh to go draw in that net

Diasporado, no, you won’t be a loner
Though thirsting and hunger are right here at home
Freedom, Godly freedom — includes Paternal talkin
Your reason for being in the New World has dawned

Don’t let your feet get cold at decision time
Things move slow holding fast old lines
Perhaps the right time is to-day
To keep buildin’ on your highs and lows
Please don’t let this moment … slip … away

Diasporado, thank God you’ve come to your senses!
Stopped building your fences … opened the gate
T’ward Godly reignin’ – some see a rainbow above you
You better …

ANSWER THIS QUESTION

… before it’s too late

Image Source

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

ORTHODOXY: Old, New, Borrowed & Blue

First, the old: Hellenism. At Sunday’s lunch I bumped into a man who had just returned from the “Hellenism & Orthodoxy” conference hosted by St Vladimir’s Seminary. Although this man is Greek, I’ve never understood him to be what I would call a Hyper-Hellenist. He said the conference was wonderful! He mentioned that one of his favorite quotes came from a representative of the Ecumenical Patriarch, who said (and I paraphrase): “Our expression of Orthodoxy should reflect not so much our ethnicity as our geography.”

Hear! Hear!

Check back with the Orthodox Christian Network for the complete talks (coming soon).

* * *
Under the new: Free Pamphlets!

The Antiochian Archdiocese is now offering two helpful pamphlets:

1) A Guide to Church Etiquette
Everything parishioners need to know about respectful and reverent behavior while in liturgy.

2) Crowned with Glory and Honor
A set of helpful guidelines for Orthodox marriage preparation, including such concepts as the meaning of crowning, and the purpose of the Betrothal Service. Readers will even learn about the wedding almonds!

* * *

Next for the borrowed …

Steve, at Pithless Thoughts, continues to amaze with his Orthographs; some, however, are NSFBS (not safe for Bible Study). The one above speaks volumes with regard to recent events. Yay!

* * *

Finally, the blue …

Did I ever tell you about the time the Kursk-Root Icon of the Mother of God spent the night in my hotel room? It’s true, thanks God, but for another time.

Recently, Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kyril served a Moleben before the image at Christ the Savior Cathedral:



Doh!
Those thumbnails don’t do justice!

Click HERE & enlarge.

Photo of the Opening Prayers of the First Episcopal Assembly (at top), taken by Dimitri Panagos; lifted from the daily Clergy Brotherhood Memo of the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America (June 14, 2010).

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment