Orthodixie

Quick! Those of you on the Julian Calendar (happy feast, by the way) — especially priests needing a pronto sermon idea …

Go H E R E !

Whoever you are, click the above hyperlink and read about the Transfiguration of our Lord on Mount Tabor from a wonderfully different perspective.

Kudos, Jan!

As they say, in the South … That’ll preach!

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Back in August of 1977, following the rigors of after-school football practice, I was leaving the practice field with my buddies when I noticed my Mom and Dad sitting in our 1966 Ford pickup truck … my Mom was crying, my Dad looked sad.

I knew something — some tragedy — had happened …

As my mind raced to think of what friend or relative it might involve, my Mom stopped the sobs long enough to look my way through red-blood-shot eyes and blurt out:

Elvis is dead … Elvis died today, Son.

Then, she resumed crying. They were listening to the news on the radio. As I scanned the other parents in their cars in the high school parking lot, the mood could only be described as somber … all tears, all ears … tuned to the radio and the news of the singer’s death.

Elvis.

My family was on a first name basis with the King – as were most Southern working folks –

Elvis.

Truth be known, he’d seen us. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, back in 1972, we saw Elvis Presley in concert at the Charlotte Coliseum – and if you believe my Mom’s gal pal Pam …

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio!

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It has gotten so hot and dry, the Baptists have gone to sprinkling, the Lutherans have started using baby wipes, the Presbyterians are passing out rain checks, and the Catholics have started praying that the wine will be turned back into water.

— A note from my Carolina hometown pal, Roxanne.

Believe me Dry and Houston are currently antonyms!

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Oh! And for those of you wondering what Clergy do all week? Go HERE.

Thanks to Jean-Michel.

By now you’ve no doubt heard about the Bishop who is advocating Christians calling God “Allah.” (Uh oh — wonder what Christians in the Middle East will think?) I’ve read some readers’ comments on the news story and, well, I don’t recommend it. Hence, the pic to the left. Don’t worry, I’m gonta ‘splain it all. Read on …

Catholic churches in the Netherlands should use the name Allah for God to ease tensions between Muslims and Christians, says a Dutch bishop.

Tiny Muskens, the bishop of Breda, told the Dutch TV program “Network” Monday night he believes God doesn’t mind what he is called, Radio Netherlands Worldwide reported. The Almighty is above such “discussion and bickering,” he insisted.

Read that again.

Yes, the Bishop’s name is “Tiny.”

Muskens thinks it could take another 100 years, but eventually the name Allah will be used by Dutch churches, promoting rapprochement between the two religions, he said, according to Radio Netherlands.

However, a survey published today in the Netherlands’ largest newspaper, De Telegraaf, showed 92 percent of the more than 4,000 people polled oppose the bishop’s view, the Associated Press reported.

Some letters to the paper were filled with ridicule for the bishop.
“Sure. Lets call God Allah. Lets then call a church a mosque and pray five times a day. Ramadan sounds like fun,” wrote Welmoet Koppenhol.

Y’all? Is this a gag? First they misspelled “The Telegraph” and then they found a guy named Welmoet?

Welmoet Koppenhol?

The chairman of the Protestant Church in the Netherlands, Gerrit de Fijter, told the Dutch paper he welcomed any attempt to “create more dialogue,” according to the AP. But he said, “Calling God ‘Allah’ does no justice to Western identity. I see no benefit in it.”

Okay … that does it! Gerrit de Fijter?

When confused, turn to Google. Here’s what I found:

Ds. De Fijter is lid van de Gereformeerde Bond in de Hervormde kerk. Hij was in de synode van de hervormde kerk de opvolger van voorzitter ds. A.W. van der Plas, eveneens lid van de gereformeerde bond.

Good heavens! What? No spellcheckers in the Netherlands? Thanks to Babel Fish, I got a translation:

D the Fijter are member of the gereformeerde bound in the reformed church. He was the church reformed in the synod of the continuator of President d A.W. of of the puddle pool, also member of the gereformeerde bound.

What! Oh my … I tried another translator service, I had it deciphered into Moron:

Ds. Duh.De Fidgteh is lid ban de Gehef’meehde Bond in de Hehbormde kehk. Hidg was in de synode ban de hehbormde kehk de opbolgeh ban boorzitteh ds. A.W. ban deh Plas, duuhhhh, ebeneens lid ban de gehef’meehde bond.

… and Pig Latin:

dsay. Eday Ijterfay isyay idlay anvay eday Ereformeerdegay Ondbay inyay eday Ervormdehay erkkay. Ijhay asway inyay eday ynodesay anvay eday ervormdehay erkkay eday opvolgeryay anvay oorzittervay dsay. Ayay.way. anvay erday Asplay, eveneensyay idlay anvay eday ereformeerdegay ondbay.

A Muslim spokesman, for Amsterdam’s union of Moroccan mosques, said Muslims had not asked for such a gesture from Christians, the AP reported.

O for Heaven’s sake! Are we all mad here? Just use your own language for your own religion and stop trying to mix it all up.

I finally got a translation that’s useable. Regarding a Bishop named “Tiny” — in the words made famous by the Man in Black — here’s a familiar ditty sung by a Swedish Chef:

I gut ell chuked up und I throo doon my goon Und I celled heem my pa, und he-a celled me-a hees sun, Und I ceme-a evey veet a deefffferent pueent ooff feeoo. Und I theenk ebuoot heem, noo und zeen, Ifery teeme-a I try und ifery teeme-a I veen, Und iff I ifer hefe-a a sun, I theenk I’m gunna neme-a heem Beell oor Geurge-a! Unytheeng boot Sooe-a! I steell hete-a thet neme!

The News Story.

Thanks to FWDs from Robert Mahoney & my wife.