Orthodixie

America demonstrates invincibly one thing that I had doubted up to now: that the middle classes can govern a State. … Despite their small passions, their incomplete education, their vulgar habits, they can obviously provide a practical sort of intelligence and that turns out to be enough.

— Alexis de Tocqueville, born on this date in 1805

Stolen from The Writer’s Almanac.
Image Source

Normally, I don’t watch television; we don’t subscribe to cable or satellite at our house. But on a recent road trip I found myself lying on a hotel bed holding the old clicker and getting very, very sleepy.

You know how it is.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock …

You’re getting very sleep. Very.
Very.

Sleepy.

Anyway, I was dozing with one eye, and surfing the channels with the other, when I heard a great commotion. It was a woman squealing: “O My God! My Lord! O My God!” At that point I was thinking, “Yep, this is why we don’t watch television: all the swearin’ and stuff.”

As she ranted into delirium, I realized it was one of those extreme home makeover shows. You know where they take a perfectly normal looking lived-in room and secretly make it over to look like a cubby in a doll house – full of pastels, stainless steel, art deco, fringe and stripes and stuff. Then the “customer” returns home and acts like they have flat out lost their mind! They yelp something like: “Oh, a8dhaoghuaognehoehgeoirgbnlk!”

Returning to my TV-induced hypnotic state, I was listening to this woman scream “God” and “Jesus” and such, when she suddenly blurted out: “There’s an iconostasis in my living room!”

And the camera panned over and, sure enough, the make-over crew had installed an icon screen in this couples’ living room! I sat up, staring at the TV. I mean, has Orthodoxy become so mainstreamed that they’re now making television shows about Mission work? I tried to change the channel, but …

Don’t miss this week’s “Best Of” episode —

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

The seminarian, soon to be M.A.R.R.I.E.D.
 -- Dana Symeon Kees -- requests:

"I thought it would be interesting to make
a list of common or uncommon inaccuracies
that appear in press reports about Orthodoxy.
I just put an entry on my ... blog.  I would 
appreciate it if you could put  a link from
your blog to that entry, or you could copy a
similar entry onto your blog.  I would like
to produce something actually useful to somebody."

Click H E R E.

Help him out!  It's easy ... click the above
link and fire away.  No comments will be aired
here.

Er … I’ll explain later.

Can you say campy? This was my official Camp Outfit. In case you missed it, Fr John Monto and I performed a song about it on last week’s Orthodixie Podcast.

This guy? Well, this is Doctor Mark. In this photo, he is, believe it or not, preparing to Break Dance! Not bad for an 85 year old man. (I think that’s right.) Anyway, Dr Mark receives an honourable mention (i.e., an “also ran”) in this week’s Orthodixie Podcast.

The chapel at Camp St Raphael. When asked by a camper about my favorite part of camp, I hesitated to sound trite but, I replied: “The services — Orthros & Vespers — with all the campers singing.”

Ah, yes … “Ask Abouna.” This is where the campers get to ask any question, hopefully about the Faith. I believe this group, no doubt the less attractive portion at the other end of the table, asked: “What kind of car do you drive?”

Honestly …

I have no idea.

One minute sanity reigned; the next, boys and girls were running around happily looking like the two goofy pics above.

Did I mention sanity? For the truly insane, there’s mealtimes. (The rest of us just gotta eat.)

Dream Girls?

Bad dream girl.

Hippies …

Rastas?

By now I’m sure you’ve all heard these guys. Just in case, they are the finale here and here.

The one in the middle calls me “Dad.”

Hafleh!

It was Oklahoma. It was July. It was one million degrees. A Big Corp from up north sent down a male model to market their anti-perspirants and deodorants. Here he is demonstrating the fragrance for a young female participant.

A young lady paralyzed, no doubt, by the sweet smells of Yankee perfume.

Speaking of which …

The boy = mine. The girl = his (in his dreams). Note, he has given her a flower.

Lord.

Speaking of which …

This guy? Dead Man Walking. He’s going to the chapel …

Yo Camille! –Gonna get

There’s less than

–married

30 days!

… the chapel of love.

Aha! You have figured it out! And, of course, you are right. That’s Stevie Wonder to my right, and Toto (the dog in the tornado movie) behind me. That said, I probably look even more like Batman now! Dontchya think?

Truth is …

It was Hollywood Squares. (Can you find Marge Simpson?)

The real Dynamic Duo. Fr James Shadid & Gayle Malone.

Glory to God for all things!

* I am away for a few weeks: Clergy Symposium at Antiochian Village and a spell in North Carolina. Posting and comment approval may be sporadic. Prayers coveted.

PS: Look for me in a movie near you. 🙂

Years ago, back in the days before gidgy-Gidgy-Gadgie-GADGETS

TAKE TWO: Years ago, back before google -Googly- GOOGLEDY- gOoGlE

OKAY.

TAKE THREE: A long time ago, a friend of mine said, “You know, Tony Snow’s a black guy.”

“No way,” I said, “he sounds so, so …”

“I know,” he replied, “he sounds like a white guy — but he’s black!”

Mind you, this was back when there was but a voice on the radio without a face on the tellie to fit. In those medieval times (known as the early 90’s) I was a subscriber to a publication called “The Conservative Chronicle” (or some-such), which ran an article and an image — a charcoal type sketch — of Tony [white as] Snow. That same issue offered a caricature of Jesse Jackson. I clipped out the article with Tony’s pic and pasted the Jackson image over it and sent it (via snail-mail) to my friend. No offense, Jesse.

Sophomoric? No doubt.

But it magnifies, even more, the class act that was Tony Snow. You see, my friend’s a black man … and he thought Tony was too. Yet, Tony’s character had not so much to do with his color, but his creed. (Face it, Tony Snow was one white dude.) His character, fashioned by Christ, is succinctly reflected in this article by Terry Mattingly.

May God rest is soul.