The Dating Rules

Anthony Esolen, over at TOUCHSTONE’s Mere Comments, has posted some dating rules. Here’s a few; feel free to add a few of your own (here or there).

13. Never marry a woman who does not laugh at your jokes or your buffoonery. That is one of the nicest ways in which men “serve” women, and women respond by taking delight in the antics. That is why God made impersonators of Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, and Homer Simpson. It may in fact be the principal justification for the existence of Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, and Homer Simpson. This rule is simply an instance of the more general rule that you should never marry a woman who does not genuinely admire you, nor should a woman marry a man whom she does not admire.

15. Never marry a man who is not admired by respectable male friends. The people in the world who know a man best are the men he works and plays with. They know well if he is a cheat, a thug, a loser. You may marry a man who does not have female friends. If anything, you should be suspicious of a man whose friends are principally female. The men may be avoiding him, and there is a reason for that.

16. Never marry anyone who is not interested in looking at your fourth-grade yearbook. This means: never marry anyone who seems unaware that he or she is marrying also a family, a hometown, a past, silly friends, comedies and tragedies. Never marry anyone who does not want to meet your father and mother. If your sister doesn’t like him, dump him. If your sister doesn’t like her, dump her. That is why God created sisters. Their approval, however, is not a sufficient condition; they will occasionally like losers, but they almost never detest good marrying material.

[One commenter wrote: “Conversely, never marry anybody who INSISTS on looking at your fourth grade year book. There are some things you simply don’t want others to know.”]

17. Never marry a feminist of either sex. That would be as bad as marrying someone with the soul (not the occupation, but the soul) of a lawyer.

The whole list.

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ORTHODOXY: Christianity, Just Harder

When someone asks you how Orthodoxy is different than their own brand of Christianity, just say:

“Oh, Orthodoxy’s a lot harder than whatever it is you do.”

What? You gave up potato chips for Lent?

Try Meat, Dairy & Oil!

Your church service lasts 50 minutes?

We go for over 2 hours!

Oh yeah, so you’ve had trouble reading the whole Bible?

Well you oughta see ours — it’s even bigger!

You fasted 3 days to fit into your wedding dress?

We fasted 50 days just to eat a red egg!

Well, you get the picture.

But, face it …

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

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What do you think?

In an article posted here, Patriarch Bartholomew is quoted as saying (to the Plenary Assembly of the European Parliament): “We are all brothers and sisters with one heavenly Father and on this beautiful planet, which we are all responsible for, there is room for everyone.”

Maybe it’s just me (at least some may say), but is this sentence, spoken to a secular gathering, Orth correct?

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A Sure and Certain Wealth


Wealth is not a possession, it is not property. It is a loan for use. Those things only are our own, which we have sent before us to the other world … only the virtues of the soul are properly our own.

— St John Chrysostom

Thanks to Fr Josiah Trenham.

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Dad! You Left Grape Nuts on the Computer Screen!

I stole this from Deacon Raphael’s site. It is absolutely unbearable. (Watch it at least to the “Zap” part.)

Forgive me.

(Warning: You may need counseling.)

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