Orthodixie

Still away on vacation in North Carolina, but this AFR repeat about St Constantine the Great is one of my favorites …

A friend of mine is a priest in a special Greek Church named after Mother and Son Saints: Helen and Constantine.

When I say this is a special Greek Church, I don’t mean just a big temple, parking lot, annual festival and gymnasium.

Of course they have all that …

But, I mean they’ve got something really special … way down in the basement. I never would have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes …

Y’all …

They have a Time Machine!

That’s right, an honest to goodness Time Machine that will transport you to any destination you wish. Well, almost. That is, you can go anywhere within the so-called “Christian Era” … BUT, your destination must be connected with a Saint.

Being one for new adventures, I said, “Sure, I’m game! How ‘bout we just try the Great Emperor Constantine?!”

So I pulled the lever and WOOSH! I was really taken aback … being hurled through the ages at lightening speed! Head swimming, colossal noises, (well you get the picture) …

Next thing I knew I was hurled down into a ramshackle house — a bit of a hovel — and people kept calling me Bernie. (For some reason, I dunno, “Bernie” is obviously my Time Travel Name.)

Anyway …

There came a loud knock at the door and I opened it to see three frazzled and haggard faces – hippie types — come rushing into my house and say:

“Bernie! You’re not going to believe what happened!”

I said — “Where am I?”

They looked at me curiously and said, “Bernie, you’re in Rome … it’s the year 313 … and you’re always babbling about that silly thing you call a Time Machine; now sit down and listen!”

Friends, I didn’t know what else to do but to sit down. Then they related their harried tale of woe …

“Bernie, it was Saturday and we were worshipping in the community worship center, you know — wearin’ jeans, banging tambourines, strumming our guitars and singing the ancient hymn …”

I said, “Kumbaya?”

“No! You know …

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

There’s one of those fru-fru juice shops near the church which not only offers delicious frosty fruit smoothies but, among other things, fresh cut sod to drink. Those of you in California are probably way past this craze by now, but I can’t help but think it odd every time I walk in and see the nice green sprouting sod patches on a shelf above the smoothie work station. Usually, there’s a swath or two which have been freshly mown down and sold for a few bucks to some member of the Health Illuminati to drink.

Okay, truth be known, I’ve only ever been in this establishment twice … and both times, I kid you not, this 300 year old man – the same one, I believe – came in for a shot of the green grass juice (he even brought a thermos for them to fill with those watery green yard clippin’s).

No kidding. He looks 300 years old, but in spectacular health. I mean, he dresses like a jogger, with little runner-man muscles all poppin’ out and stuff … but his face, hair, and wrinkles betray his true age which is, as I said (but, honestly, I’m guessing here): at least 300 years old.

So, I got to thinking: Maybe I should get me a shot o’ that sod …

That’s when the voice of my Dad popped into my head. Well, not really … I mean, he doesn’t actually SAY anything; he just kinda moves his head (in my head) a little … which, well, says it all.

My Dad, who passed away 4 years ago, lives on – loud and clear – in my head.

Speaking of sod, my Dad, and all …

When I was a kid, every time we passed a cemetery (and I do mean, every time) he’d say, “Son, people are just dyin’ to get in there!”

It was one of those things that’s funny the first 5 times you hear it … and then not funny again until about the 5,000th time. But, passing cemeteries (though not EVERY time) I still think of it.

“People just dyin’ to get in there …”

In all fairness, what father doesn’t love to aggravate his children? I never really appreciated the ol’ Dad-drives-kid-crazy thing … when I was a kid. I just thought my parents were stupid. (I say that with lots of love Mom, cause I know you’re reading this.)

Take, for example, a recent Huneycutt family camping trip. We spent two nights in Brazos Bend State Park. It was Houston, it was June, and I’ll be doggoned if it weren’t just plain … H.O.T!

My son, early on, asked: “Dad, when are we going to build a fire?”

Y’all, it was 92 degrees in the shade!

In a very affected artsy voice, I said:

“When the Sun is in the sky …

there’s no need for the Fire …

in the pit.”

My three kids smiled.

That only encouraged me.

So, I repeated it: “When the Sun is in the sky … there’s no need for the Fire … in the pit.”

By about the 5th time, there came a chorus of voices: “Da-ad!”

I ask you: Did that stop me?

Absolutely not. What encouragement!

I told them, “Y’all just wait … I believe that’ll preach — ‘When the Sun is in the sky … there’s no need for the Fire … in the pit.’”

“Dad! Please … No!”

“Or, better yet, I might make a podcast or blog post about it …”

“When the Sun is in the sky …”

That’s when my son stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me in all seriousness, and said: “Dad, really … please stop.”

Heh heh.

And although his seriousness resembled that of my father’s when I think of drinking the green grass juice … I FELT victorious like my Dad must have felt when he’d gotten my goat as a kid.

Forgive me.

All this is to say … I’m away from the computer this week, on the road to North Carolina. No posts expected, comment approval may be sporadic. Twenty hours, one way, with the family.

Pray for me and mine, especially … mine.

Oops! Wrong picture …

I‘m tying up some loose ends before hitting the road for summer travels …

First of all, it’s interesting to note that the video posted here is from 1980. 1980! And still seems funny and relevant. (Even sad, for those who’ve lived through it.)
Thanks to Jim for the FWD.

When I recently titled a post a “MEME” — that posting garnered the poorest showing of site visits in a while. My bad. Fr Stephen’s excellent podcast You Are Not a Bible Character has nothing to do with, is quite contrary to, MEMEs.

I updated the Orthodox Converts in Syria posting with the first names of the lay team and a quote from an AFR listener regarding missionizing the Missionaries. (Speaking of which, Fr James Early’s new book is out.)

Regarding those flies in the holy Chalice, a comment on that story (concerning bees) is worth notice.

That popular Russian TV show, Orthodox Encyclopedia, was in Houston (visiting St George, here) a while back … here’s Part Two. Stay tuned, toward the very end of Part Two, for the Johnny Deppish Fr Serge Veselinovich of Ss Constantine & Helen Serbian Orthodox Church, Galveston.

Finally, per this post’s title, if you’re in the doldrums … spin that ol’ tune from Houston native, Archie Bell. He and the Drells been doin’ The Tighten Up since 1967.

(But, he ain’t too big on Houston it seems: “He calls Houston bedrock. ‘There are too many Fred Flintstones that live here, people with one-track prehistoric minds,’ Bell said. ‘People here say “I listen to blues or rap music,” but nothing else. My music is played in the South but not in Houston.'” Source)

This is the funniest thing (in a sort of dry, understated & witty way) that I’ve heard in a long time:

You Are Not a Bible Character

Go listen, HERE.

Pic Source – which reads: “OK. So it’s really a baby strong man – but it can also be a baby Saint John the Baptist!”

The Texas Medical Center is the largest medical center in the world with one of the highest densities of clinical facilities for patient care, basic science, and translational research. The Medical Center receives over five million annual patient visits, including over ten thousand international patients. In 2006, the center employed over 75,000 people, including 4,000 physicians and 11,000 registered nurses.

Last week, as I made my way down the sidewalk, there were people bustling all about, to and fro, in multicolored scrubs and white lab jackets …

Then there was me, the man in black, walking in my rapid pace through the bustling throng …

Good Morning, Father.

I had a lot on my mind … I was thinking about having parked so far away … how hot is was …

Good Morning, Father.

… the person I was going to see in the hospital, the one who was dying across town … what was for dinner …

I said, Good Morning, Father.

“Morning” – I mumbled, sort of, under my breath (I promise, I did!).

Bums.

They’re everywhere in a big city. Here they were sitting all across this little wall that lined the sidewalk.

Where was I? Oh yeah: I had a lot on my mind … hurry to see this gal … run over later to see the other one …

I said, Good Morning, Father!

Good grief, is that the beggar still yelling after me?

Keep walking, I thought, just keep moving …

I said, Good Morning, Father!

Now, y’all, this was getting ridiculous.

Without thinking, I turned ‘round and said …

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

Pic Source