Orthodixie

Realizing I pledged 30 blog updates in 30 days, here’s some stories that caught my eye and some other things, timely, that you may have missed.

[Slipping this in under the podcast teaser — thus the date is incorrect.]

I think of this guy — James W. Lewis — every time I try to open one of those pesky omnipresent safety caps!

Seeing as how we may all be “Undressing [because of] the Terror Threat” soon, this editorial by Paul Campos in the Wall Street Journal helps make the hard to comprehend a wee bit simpler; here’s an exerpt:

“I’m not much of a basketball player. Middle-age, with a shaky set shot and a bad knee, I can’t hold my own in a YMCA pickup game, let alone against more organized competition. But I could definitely beat LeBron James in a game of one-on-one. The game just needs to feature two special rules: It lasts until I score, and when I score, I win.

We might have to play for a few days, and Mr. James’s point total could well be creeping toward five figures before the contest ended, but eventually the gritty gutty competitor with a lunch-bucket work ethic (me) would subject the world’s greatest basketball player to a humiliating defeat.

The world’s greatest nation seems bent on subjecting itself to a similarly humiliating defeat, by playing a game that could be called Terrorball. The first two rules of Terrorball are:

(1) The game lasts as long as there are terrorists who want to harm Americans; and

(2) If terrorists should manage to kill or injure or seriously frighten any of us, they win.

These rules help explain the otherwise inexplicable wave of hysteria that has swept over our government in the wake of the failed attempt by a rather pathetic aspiring terrorist to blow up a plane on Christmas Day …”

More – here

And, before someone points out that I always seem to notify others when there’s something like THIS going on in the Roman Catholic communion … well, gotta be fair — here it is.

Image Source — Where it is noted: “Why is it that any child can open the childproof protective caps on the prescription bottles but it takes me twenty minutes, a pair of scissors and a box cutter to break open a new CD?”

You heard it was Christmas in Russia just the other day (January 7th)? Here’s why.

Finally, in honor of Elvis’s 75th birthday (January 8th), you do know Elvis is a Saint, right?

Someone sent this into the ComBox. Forgive me — but, too cute not to share:

The following has absolutely nothing to do with Orthodoxy. You have been warned …

This news story out of London (boy, ain’t the whole world gone crazy?) concerns the “health deficiencies” of the model for Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. It needed a few more examples and, though I’m no expert, I have happily provided …

LONDON (Jan. 6) — When most people gaze on the Mona Lisa, they see a great beauty with a beguiling smile. Not Vito Franco, professor of pathological anatomy at the University of Palermo. He sees a woman with a dangerously unhealthy diet.

According to Franco, Leonardo Da Vinci’s most famous subject suffered from worryingly high levels of cholesterol. He made that diagnosis after spotting signs of xanthelasma — a build up of yellowish fatty acids under the skin — under Mona’s left eye, as well as subcutaneous lipomas, benign tumors composed of fatty tissue, on her hands.

Here’s the whole story.

The article goes on to state: “This new field of research, which Franco calls “icono-diagnostics,” has some obvious limitations …”

Here’s a few icono-diagnoses of my own:

Dehydration. A body needs water and, sometimes, the long hours of sitting for a painting by the Master can leave one parched.

Make sure to hydrate often!

Thyroid-Associated Ophthalmopathy — otherwise known as Graves’ Eye Disease (not to be confused with Billi jo-elleye).

If you think you have Graves’ Disease, please see a doctor.

Wait, here’s one now …

Mononucleosis — or Kissing Disease. The virus that causes mono has a long incubation period: 30 to 50 days from the time you’re exposed to it to the time you get sick. If, of course, you “rock and roll all night and party every day” you may lose track of …

Wait.

What was I saying?

Oh well … never mind.

Funny images

During the days following the Feast of the Theophany (January 6th), it is customary for the Priest to visit the homes of his parishioners, bringing with him the “Jordan Water” for the traditional Theophany House Blessing. The First Great Sanctification of Water is performed at the end of the Divine Liturgy on the Paramon of Theophany (January 5th). While that water may be given to the faithful to drink on that day and throughout the coming year, traditionally it is only the water from the Second Great Sanctification, which is performed on the day of the Feast of Theophany (January 6th), that is called “Jordan Water” and used for the Theophany House Blessing.

All who reside in the household should make every effort to be present for the Blessing. In anticipation of the arrival of the Priest to the house, the lampada, hand-censer and incense in the family’s icon corner should be prepared. If there is no icon corner, a small table should be placed on the eastern wall of the main room of the dwelling; the table, covered with a white cloth, should be set with one or more icons standing upright, a candle in a candle stand, a hand-censer and incense. A small bowl along with several sprigs of evergreen bound together with a ribbon should also be placed in the icon corner (or on the table), along with a clearly printed list of the Baptismal names of the members of the household. Upon the arrival of the Priest, he is to be greeted by all of the family members, each of whom asks the Priest’s blessing and reverences his right hand. Then a family member lights the lampada (or candle) and hand-censer and turns off all televisions, radios, etc. in the home. Lights should be turned on in all the rooms of the house that are to be blessed. Then the entire family gathers with the Priest before the icon corner (or table) to begin the Theophany House Blessing.

The Priest, vested in cassock and exorasson and facing the icons, blesses and dons his epitrachelion saying the usual vesting prayer. He then places incense upon the lighted charcoal in the hand-censer and blesses it saying the usual prayer. He then places his hand-cross at the icon corner (or on the table) and, after pouring “Jordan Water” into the bowl provided by the family, he blesses himself while intoning:

PRIEST: Blessed is our God, always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

PRIEST: Glory to Thee, our God. Glory to Thee.

O heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, who art everywhere present and fillest all things, the Treasury of good things and Giver of life: Come, and abide in us, and cleanse us from every stain, and save our souls, O good One.

ALL: Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal: have mercy on us. (thrice)

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

All-holy Trinity, have mercy on us. Lord, cleanse us from our sins. Master, pardon our iniquities. Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities for Thy Name’s sake.

Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Our Father, who art in the heavens, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

PRIEST: For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Then the Priest leads all in the chanting of the Apolytikion of Theophany in Tone 1:

When Thou, O Lord, wast baptized in the Jordan, worship of the Trinity was made manifest. For the voice of the Father bore witness to Thee, calling Thee His beloved Son. And the Spirit, in the likeness of a dove,
confirmed the truth of His word. O Christ our God, who hast appeared and enlightened the world, glory to Thee.

PRIEST: Have mercy on us, O God, according to Thy great mercy, we pray Thee, hearken and have mercy.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for all pious and Orthodox Christians.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for our Metropolitan N., our father and Bishop N., and all our brotherhood in Christ.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: Again we pray for mercy, life, peace, health, salvation, visitation and pardon and forgiveness of sins for the servants of God, (we mention by name all those who dwell in the house that is to be blessed) NN., and for all pious and Orthodox Christians who live and dwell in this community.

ALL: Lord, have mercy. (thrice)

PRIEST: For Thou art a merciful God and lovest mankind, and unto Thee we ascribe glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Turning to face the people, the Priest blesses them, saying:

PRIEST: + Peace be to all.

ALL: And to thy spirit.

PRIEST: Let us bow our heads unto the Lord.

ALL: To Thee, O Lord.

All bow their heads as the Priest faces the icons and prays:

PRIEST: Let us pray to the Lord.

ALL: Lord, have mercy.

PRIEST: Our God our Saviour, the True Light, who wast baptized by John in the Jordan to renew all men by the water of regeneration, and who didst condescend to enter under the roof of Zacchaeus, and didst thereby bring salvation to him and all his household: Do Thou now also, the same Lord, keep safe from harm all those who dwell herein. Vouchsafe them sanctification, purification and health of body, and grant their petitions which are unto salvation and life everlasting: For blessed art Thou, O Christ our God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory together with Thine unoriginate Father and Thine all-holy and good and life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

ALL: Amen.

Then the head of the household takes up a lighted candle and leads through the house the Priest, who carries the bowl of “Jordan Water” and, using his hand-cross together with the bound sprigs of evergreen, sprinkles each room with the “Jordan Water.” It is customary that he sprinkle each doorway upon the lintel and at each side. During the Theophany season (January 6th through the Leavetaking on January 14th) the festal Apolytikion “When Thou, O Lord wast baptized …” is chanted repeatedly throughout the House Blessing; but should the House Blessing take place after the Leavetaking, the Apolytikion of the Cross (also in Tone 1) “O Lord, save Thy people and bless Thine inheritance…” is chanted rather than that of Theophany. It is common practice that once the Great Fast begins House Blessings are suspended. The other members of the household may walk behind the Priest if they wish or they may remain at the icon corner (or table). The procession through the house ends at the icon corner (or table).

The Priest replaces the bowl and sprigs of evergreen in the icon corner (or on the table), and, holding the hand-cross and facing the people, he says the Dismissal:

PRIEST: Glory to Thee, O Christ our God and our Hope. Glory to Thee.

ALL: Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen. Lord, have mercy. (thrice) Father, bless.

PRIEST: May He who deigned to be baptized by John in the Jordan for our salvation, Christ our true God, through the intercessions of His all-immaculate and all-blameless holy Mother, at the supplications of (the
Patron Saint of the local church temple), of the holy and righteous ancestors of God Joachim and Anna, and of all the saints: have mercy on us, and save us, forasmuch as He is good and loveth mankind.

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us, and save us.

ALL: Amen.

Again facing the holy icons, the Priest holds the hand-cross and intones:

PRIEST: Grant, O Lord, a peaceful life, health, salvation and furtherance in all good things to Thy servant(s), (we mention by name all those who dwell in the house that has been blessed) NN., and preserve him/her/them for many years!

He turns and blesses the people thrice with the hand-cross as all sing the “Many years.” Those who dwell in the house then approach the Priest to reverence the hand-cross and his hand, and to be blessed with the “Jordan Water.”

It should be noted that it is customary for the head of the household to discreetly present the Priest with an envelope containing an honorarium and a list of the Living and Departed for whom the family requests his prayers during the New Year.

NOTE: These are the rubrics for the Diocese of Wichita & Mid-America, Antiochian Archdiocese; practices may vary.

Image Source

How is it that my Creator comes to me?I’m not worthy.
To quench is my fate.
THIRST
All can relate.
Before Eden thou wast; even before the flood.
I parted for Thy people at the behest of Moses, Thy chosen one.
I’ve whetted e’ery path man’s trod; every field he’s plo’d.
At Thy command I came to be; my rest shall be in Thee.
Tell me Lord, what brings Thee to me? I’m not worthy,
I must confess.
Me? I cleanse from sweat, dirt, sand, and disease.
Washed away are cares and burdens — the soot of the day —
in my waves.
John calls forth the people.
In their salvation I participate.
Yet, to Thee, how can I relate?
For without, I’d not be.
Jest it seems!
(Agent of cleansing feels dirty in the presence of the King.)
Cleanse me, O Lord, that I may be worthy of Thee.
THIRST
I am water.
I lack nothing but Thee.
At Thy baptism, O Lord, Thou hast found me worthy.
Quenching, cleansing:
paths, fields, people,
salvation;
I
shall ne’er be the same.

Come Lord Jesus,
cleanse Thou me!

Published in 2005 on the Antiochian Webpage – click the link for other Epiphany offerings.

ALSO … here.

Image Source