A long time ago, in a parish far, far away….

It is a period of church war. Ortho-Nerds,

striking from a hidden base,

have won their first victory
against the Nominal Ecclesiarch.

During the struggle, Ortho-Nerd spies managed
to steal secret plans to the Ecclesiarch’s
ultimate weapon, the Death Pew,a
padded seating bench with enough
width to destroy thirty standing positions.

Pursued by the Ecclesiarch’s aging Archons,
Catechumen Leila texts home aboard her
iPhone 5C, the stolen plans
that can save her people and restore
the freedom to stand to the parish …

[Other words used in this episode: geek, dork, loser, dweeb, tetragrammaton, gamer, and emo.]

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio!

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