Church Seating Request Form

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the church office as soon as possible.

1. I would prefer to sit in the… (Check one:)

___ Talking section

___ No talking section

___ Snob section

2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest:)

___ General gossip

___ Specific gossip:
_____________________________________

___ The big priest

___ The little priest

___ How wonderful the former priest was

___ The chanter

___ The choir director

___ The Presbytera (Khouria, Matushka)

___ Fashion news

___ What others are wearing

___ What others are not wearing

___ Your neighbors

___ Your relatives

___ Your neighbors’ relatives

___ Other: _______________________________

3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?

___ Doctor

___ Dentist

___ Child psychiatrist

___ Mother in law

___ Podiatrist

___ Chiropractor

___ Stockbroker

___ Accountant

___ Lawyer

___ Real estate agent

___ Architect

___ Plumber

___ Buyer (Specify store: _______________________ )

___ Golf pro

___ Other: ____________________________

4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)

___ On the aisle

___ Near the exit

___ Near the window

___ Near the bathroom

___ Near my in-laws

___ As far away from my in-laws as possible

___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible

___ Near single men

___ Near available women

___ Where I can hear the choir

___ Where I cannot possibly hear the choir

___ Where no one can see/hear me talking during services

___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services

___ Where no one can see/hear me talking or me sleeping during the sermon
(note: additional charge)

5. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________ __________________________ ________________________ __________________________ _________________________ __________________________

Your name: _________________________________

Building fund pledge: __________________________

Slightly edited; thanks to FWD from a couple priests who shall remain anonymous. Of course, those of you who worship without pews or chairs can, no doubt, stand each other. 🙂

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