How the Grinch Stole New Year’s

Family … I have an announcement to make. Beginning January 1st I am no longer going to be so critical,” I half-seriously boasted. “That’s right, from now on I will think before I speak and refrain from criticism.”

My wife basically paid me no mind. Honestly, I’d given the resolution no thought and was merely blathering just to hear myself talk. As I soon learned, and you shall see, my oldest daughter, a pre-teen, drank up every lost drop of this pronouncement.

I made that declaration around Christmas. On December 29th, my wife and I were merging with all the Houston speed racers on Highway 59 going into town. That night, not unlike any other night, there were a goodly number of idiots on the road. I was grumbling, muttering under my breath, etc, when my wife came to my rescue. She said, “You’ve still got two more days.” We laughed. Heh heh. Old age.

Now, back to the pre-teen. Y’all, I swear I cannot say a word — a WORD, I say — without her smiling face yelling “New Year’s!” Like most things obnoxious, it was funny the first 50 times … and regained its humour after about the 1000th.

Next year, maybe I’ll give up exaggeration.

Speaking of obnoxious, I now yell “New Year’s” at my oldest and my wife. My wife is always quick, and correct, to point out that she never said that was her resolution.

Anyway. The four year old daughter doesn’t have a clue why we keep yelling “New Year’s!” So she joins in with, “Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!” or “Happy Birthday! Happy Anniversary!” Which only causes us to laugh more.

(Incidentally, my middle’s a boy; he’s in another world entirely.)

But, to be honest, if being critical means you have to go through all that — no matter how cute — it does give one pause.

On that note —

Wait. What are you thinking?

Happy New Year’s!

Dick Duerrstein’s Grinch image (above) taken from HERE.

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