Orthodixie

1. Never rely on your own wisdom or might or on human strength in any of your works. Otherwise, your mind will become dim and your insight blurred, thus blocking the way for grace to enter you and show you the way of God. You will thus be led astray from truth and fall into the enemy’s trap. At the end, you will be enslaved to your own ego and to the desires of other people, “Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!” (Is.5.21).

2. Beware of thinking highly of yourself. Never feel that without you the world would stop. For your self would seem great and grand in your own eyes. Know instead that God can use another to do the work better than you. He can make the weak mighty and the mighty weak, the wise foolish and the foolish wise. Everything good and useful in you is from God and not from you. If you do not hand it over to God and with conviction attribute it to him, he will tear it away from you. If you boast of your intelligence or virtue, God will leave them to you as merely human gifts. They will then turn into corruption, loss, and damage.

3. Your ego might hate submitting to God. It might escape surrendering to him. In the meantime, you would be making much of your own power – attributing your intelligence, virtue, and success to yourself. In this case, God will deliver you to continual discipline; discipline after discipline, tribulation after tribulation, until you succumb and surrender in brokenness. But if you reject discipline and cannot stand tribulation, God will forsake you forever.

4. Take heed then and open your ears: Either count yourself as nothing in word and deed and make up your mind to surrender yourself to God will all your might – and you will then gladly be released from your ego by the grace of God; or, you will be delivered to discipline until you are set free from your ego in spite of yourself. So if you wish to opt for the easier way, take that of voluntary submission. Count yourself from now on as nothing, and follow the path of grace wherever the Spirit may wish to lead you.



5. Know for certain that submission to God and total surrender to his will and divine plan are a free gift of grace. It thus demands, besides prayer and supplication, a trusting faith to receive this gift. This should be coupled with a longing springing from one’s heart that God may not deliver us to discipline for our folly, nor abandon us to our own wisdom. For this reason, we should have an extremely resolute will to renounce our own self at all times and in all works. This should not be done ostentatiously before people but within our conscience. Blessed is the man who can discover his own weakness and ignorance and confess them before God to the last day of his life.

6. If you fall under discipline, know for sure that this is a great profit, for God chastises the soul that has forgotten its weakness and has been puffed up by its talents and success. This is carried on until it realizes its weakness, especially when God does not provide in tribulation a way to escape. He besieges the soul from all sides and embitters it with inward and outward humiliation, whether by sin or by scandal, until it abhors itself, curses its own intelligence, and disowns its counsel. Finally, it surrenders itself to God, feeling crushed and lowly. At such a time, it becomes easy for man to hate himself. He even wishes to be hated by everybody. This is the way of true humility. It leads to total surrender to divine plan. It ends up with freeing one’s soul from the tyranny of the ego, with its deception, its stubbornness, and its vanity.

7. If you wish to free your soul by the shortest and simplest way, sit down every day under the discipline of grace. Examine your thoughts, movements, intentions, purposes, words, and deeds in the light of God’s word. It is then that you shall discover the corruption of the ego, its imposture, slyness, deception, vanity, and lack of chastity. If you persist in doing this regularly in contrition, you will manage to sever yourself from your false and devilish ego. You will then be able to overpower it bit by bit until you can deny it altogether, hate it, and break jail from its tyranny. You will at last discover the catastrophe into which your ego has led you for obeying it, finding peace in its shelter, boasting of it, and seeking its respect.

The moment you realize at the bottom of your heart that you are nothing and that God is everything, then the truth shall have set you free.

– Matthew the Poor, Orthodox Prayer Life: The Interior Way, pp 122-124.

It was only a dream.

Yet, for an eternal moment I felt as if I were the only person in the universe, floating through a vast darkness — no light, anywhere.

Then, off in the distance, I saw a blinding white light such as I’d never seen before.

As I approached the light, I became increasingly aware of all the sinful actions of my life.

But it was more than that. I also became extremely aware of my attitudes, past thoughts and prejudices — so much so that I wanted to leave my body. I wanted to jump out of this dirty sinful self and into the bright Holy Light …

But I could not.

Instead, I entered the brilliant unknown realm just as I was …

I was greeted by someone that I perceived to be an angel. Unlike the angels I’d always imagined, this being had no wings, no harp, no baby face. He did not sit on a cloud of white.

However, he was extremely beautiful.

“Welcome,” said the angel.

I could not tear my eyes away from the beautiful light that radiated from his face.

Again, “Welcome.”

“Hello,” I muttered, “where am I?”

He smiled and said “Surely you received and accepted our invitation, or you would not be here. You must know where you are.”

“No, no ..” I said, “please tell me.”

“This is the Kingdom of God. All is beauty, all is holy, all is love. Everything — including YOU (my dirty little man) is here because God wills it to be so.”

“But I’m not worthy,” I sighed.

“Yes. You are right, you’re not,” he replied.

For the first time since my arrival, I was able to peel my eyes away from his radiant face and scan the holy land. I cannot describe for you this place … its beauty … the light.

Then suddenly, my eyes glimpsed someone I knew — a sinner from earth! I said to the angel “Surely you must be mistaken. I am not in heaven — for look there, that man is a sinner! I knew him. I doubt he believed in Jesus Christ … and, as far as I know, he never went to church a day in his life! What is he doing here?”

“He was invited,” said the guide. “He came.”

For a brief horrifying moment, I saw my own reflection in his beautiful face.

As we traveled along, I saw others that I knew — both sinners and saints. I was very confused — and yet, at the same time, quite overwhelmed. I asked my guide many questions. But his answers all had something to do with “they were invited,” “accepted our invitation,” or, “because God wills it to be so.”

Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks. There stood Jack Tyndall. I despised him! Oh, how I hated him!

I turned to the light-filled being and said, “I can’t believe he is here! I cannot stand him!”

“But, remember,” said the angel, “remember … once, twice — you prayed for him.”

[He’s right. Although it almost killed me, I did make it a habit to pray for my enemies.]

“Is that why he’s here?!” I whined.

“No — that’s how you got in,” he said.

My head began to swim with confusion. Sure, I’d prayed for my enemies — but, I surely hadn’t prayed that I’d spend eternity with them!

Then, almost like a staged parade, one by one, enemies and scoundrels alike all passed before me. I started yelling at my angelic guide.

“But she’s an adulteress! Everyone knew she slept around all over town. She had no morals.”

“God invited her,” he said. “Everything changed when she accepted our invitation.”

“Him! I can’t believe this, surely I’m in the wrong place. I mean, that guy cared for nothing but money! He had no faith!”

“In you maybe,” replied the angel, “but, in his time he donated much money to the Church and to charitable causes allowing many to live a better life to the glory of God. You may not have recognized it on earth but, here, we look into one’s heart — and his is as big as the moon and filled with the love of God.”

By now, I’d started to cry. I saw nothing before me but people I’d hated. Where were the folks that I loved. Where was my wife? My mother? My father? Grandmother? Where were all of my friends who’d died?

Almost on the brink of hysteria, I turned to the glowing creature and pleaded “But, where are my loved ones?”

“Why should they be here?” he asked.

“For me!” I shouted. “Because I love them! They are my family! No, maybe they weren’t all perfect — but they were good folks. Please, oh please, tell me where are my loved ones?”

He, too, shed a tear. The light subsided a bit, and he showed me his hands, his feet and side. In an instant, I recognized Him.

In that same moment, I became white as snow — no longer feeling dirty and unworthy.

He said to me, “I, too, know love. And it is my love that has brought you, and these people, to this Kingdom. Many whom you love are here also, but you should know that they are no more loved than these whom you hate. For they are all My family. I am the Judge. My Father has given me the reign of His Kingdom. And as you know, I opened my heart for the love of the world — that those who love Me might inherit eternal life.”

He then vanished from my sight …

… and all those who were before me changed.

No.

I changed.

I saw clearly, for the first time, that these were not my enemies. They were … my family.

All things became clear … “God so loved the world …”

“Jesus died for your sins.”

“God’s will …”

“God’s invitation …”

“God.”

I became overwhelmed with joy! There was shouting, dancing, music and, spread before me — the family, and all the hosts of heaven — was a great feast surrounding the throne of Light!

But, someone was missing. Where was the guide who’d brought me to the banquet? — who’d opened my eyes?

Where was the Christ — Who’d taught me so much? Where was He who loved me? Where was He that had died that I might live? He was with me just a moment ago …

Turning to my neighbor, I asked “Where is He? The Bridegroom?”

He nodded in the direction of the gate through which I had entered — and there stood the Lord Jesus, sadly waiting by the entrance to the Kingdom.

“What’s wrong? Why does he stand there so sullen?”

“He’s waiting for Judas” — came the reply.

“He’s waiting for Judas.”

**

God’s wait by the gate may just as well be for me, for you, or anyone who is unrepentant. For God’s Love is immeasurable, as is His forgiveness. Yet unless we turn unto Him, believe and repent, we may miss out on the Great Reward that He has prepared for us. Both Peter and Judas were called to follow Christ. The difference between these two disciples is repentance. It is only through repentance that we are granted, through the Holy Spirit, the freedom to enter into the Joy of the Father’s Kingdom, through His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour.

For as St. Paul’s letter to Timothy tells us “God desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as ransom for all ….”

** Literary devices used are for the benefit of the reader and not intended to support the doctrine of apocatastisis (the doctrine that ALL shall be saved).

[T]he union of man with God, or deification, is a legitimate aim to seek. This is due to the preexisting union between divinity and humanity in the incarnation. It is Christ, then, who has set it before us as an aim. Union here includes all the gratuitous means of grace – baptism, Holy Communion, and perpetual repentance. Union also includes struggles such as fasting, chastity, bridling of tongue and mind. It involves constant prayer as well as acts of love and humility. It certainly includes as well God’s invisible succor to those who strive to reach him.

– Matthew the Poor, Orthodox Prayer Life – The Interior Way, p.107.

Several years ago when I was still serving in the Russian Church Abroad, Fr David Moser invited me to deliver a presentation at the Southwest Deanery Clergy Retreat in San Francisco, entiled: “American Converts and the Pastoral Issues They Bring to the Church”. What a glorious trip & experience that was! I visited the grave of Fr Seraphim Rose in Platina and got to spend almost a week by the relics of St John of Shanghai and San Francisco there in the Cathedral. I also got to meet some top notch clergy — one of whom is a blogger, Fr John McCuen.

Anyway …

Portions of my presentation can be heard on this week’s radio program (8/21) on Come Receive the Light. Those of you without local broadcast can hear it on the web over the next week.

God willing, I’ll eventually get this talk published. Though appropriate (regardless of jurisdiction), I don’t think a publisher is going to go for my title (listed at the head of this post). Below is the CRTL plug. Enjoy!

8/20/2004 The Weekly Newsletter of the Orthodox Christian Network

CRTL Press Releases

Read the latest CRTL Press Release

Contact Us

info@receive.org This week’s message from Father Christopher Metropulos

IF I HAD IT TO DO AGAIN, WOULD I?

“If I knew then what I know now…” ever said that? Have you ever wondered if you knew the hurdles you’d have to overcome to achieve certain goals if you’d do it again? Are some victories worth any price?

There is an Orthodox convert I know who’s faced unbelievable challenges since he converted to Orthodoxy and I asked him once if he thought it had been worth the effort to actually leave the church he was pastoring, deal with the misunderstanding of friends and family, and answer all those questions over and over again. He said “yes” it was worth it, and if he had it to do all over, he’d do it again. “Why?” I asked.

He then quoted a scripture to me. “Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:68

Jesus had just finished telling the crowd gathered around Him “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. (John 6:53)

The crowd gathered around Jesus because He had just fed them miraculously. They were drawn to Him because their bellies were full, not because they were spiritually hungry. And when Jesus confronted them with a “hard saying” they left Him. As the crowd dispersed, Jesus asked His disciples if they too would leave Him and Peter answer “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)

This convert had learned a lesson about truth, and about being a true disciple of Jesus: Truth doesn’t mean ease, but it does mean peace.

The fact of the matter is that we are all really converts. All of us, especially those of us blessed by God to have been raised in an Orthodox home, have to make the faith our own. We have to come to grips with the claims of Jesus to be the Lord of our lives and not just a cultural security blanket.

We have to learn the lessons of converts.

First, conversion isn’t a one time event. To be sure, there are times in our lives when we make that first committed step of faith, but I pray it won’t be our last step. In our own lives, there are times when we have made a strong commitment to develop our faith and those times are precious to us, but we can’t sit on past events. Our spiritual journey is to be an ongoing growth in the life God has given us in His Son. As St. Paul said, we are to move from “glory to glory.”(2 Cor. 3:18)

Second, conversion costs. Nothing worthwhile comes easy, and that is especially true of spiritual growth. We live in a world where it is easy to live a selfish life and hard to swim against the tide of “me first.” Jesus told His disciples “And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it– lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, “This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ (Luke 14:27-30)

If we place value on our spiritual maturing and spiritual growth, we’ll come to expect that our growth probably will cost us in time, effort, and even hardship. When we commit to growing in our faith, we face the opposition of the Evil One, the world around us, and even our own laziness.

Finally, conversion is worth it. You’ve heard me quote over and over again that we will “reap if we do not faint.” There are so many things in this life that try to draw your energy, things that, in light of eternity, just don’t deserve the attention and time we give them. But this is never true of the efforts we expend to grow in our faith and develop our spiritual selves. With all the wisdom and beauty preserved for us and available to us as Orthodox Christians, we can see our lives truly “converted” to that new life Christ gave the whole world on that first Pascha morning. It’s your birth right. Don’t forsake it for that which can rust and turn to dust.

This week we visit again with Fr. Joseph Huneycutt. He’ll tell us about the unique pastoral issues converts face as they become Orthodox.

We’ll also hear from Fr. Thomas Zell of Conciliar Press about AGAIN magazine.

The summer has been a particular challenge for us this year. Your generous financial gift during August will go a long way in helping us face the fall in good shape. Email me this week and let me know you’ll be a contributor.

Until next week.

Yours for the spread of Orthodoxy,

Fr. Chris Metropulos

P.S. Here’s my email address, just click mailto:frchris@receive.org.

CRTL News

THE LONE STAR STATE GETS CRTL

Abilene, Texas joins the growing number of cities where you can hear CRTL locally.

Starting this weekend you can hear CRTL on KWKC AM 1340.

SHARE THE LIGHT SUPPORT DINNERS

We are already getting started with our planning to come to several cities this fall with Support Dinners.

Our very first dinner is scheduled for September 30th in San Francisco. Stay tuned to this news section for more details.

Parish of the Week

St. Paul’s Orthodox Church in Irvine California is our Parish of the week. Located on Alton Parkway in Irvine, this parish is a mainstay of support for CRTL and one of the earliest Share The Light Parishes in California.

Visit them on their web site at http://www.stpaulsirvine.org and when your in Irvine on a Sunday morning make sure you join this dynamic parish for worship.

Affiliate of the Week

WDJC AM 850 in Birmingham Alabama is our Affiliate of the Week. Each Satirday at 10:30 you can hear CRTL throughout the Birmingham area.

Email the station at mailto:937wdjc@hotmail.com and let them know you are glad they are helping to make a national Orthodox media presence a reality.

Huw has some thoughts worth a read.