Orthodixie

This is making its way around the Net. I stole it from World. All I know is, I better not dream about it! (Oh, and uh, pardon the “french”.)

Sung to the tune from the Beverly Hillbillies:

Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named Dan,

The documents were fake and he didn’t give a damn;

He put ’em on the air, an’ he thought he’d done the job,

But up from the web come a howlin’ mob.

Blogs, that is.

Web logs.

Checkin’ facts.

Well, the first thing you know ol’ Dan’s a-runnin’ fast; Made a

false report an’ it bit him in the ass; He said ‘dog-gonnit, I done

thought I’d get away!’ But it turned out to be his a-reckonin’ day.

Busted, that is.

Red-faced.

Mud in the eye.

Well, now it’s time to say goodbye to Dan and all his men; And they

would like to shoot you folks for turnin’ them in; You’re all

invited back next week to watch the Evening News, And see which

correspondent’s picked to fill Dan’s empty shoes.

Y’all come back, now, hear?

Okay, so I had this dream. In my dream, my wife had invited Dan Rather to go camping with us. Really!

(We are going on a camping trip next week.)

Anyway, I’m having this dream in which, a day or two before the camping trip, I discover that — without asking my opinion — she has invited Dan Rather to go with us.

So I called Dan.

I asked if he were bringing his own tent. He replied “No” that my wife had assured him we’d have enough room. Room, I say! We have three kids and a six man tent.

(Those of you who camp know that a six man tent is just big enough for four people.)

I imagined, while dreaming, canoeing with Dan Rather. I wondered if he visited my Blog site. Did you hear me? I wondered if Dan Rather, CBS news anchor, had visited Orthodixie! In my dream I thought:

Of course not, you moron!

That’s probably about the time I realized that he wasn’t in my canoe and I didn’t have to worry about him sharing our tent. In other words, I woke up.

So you heard the news about the Artist Formerly Known as Cat Stevens being denied entry into the US? Stephen Shwartz of the Weekly Standard explains why in an article entitled Is Cat Stevens a Terrorist?

In response to my article — What’s Good About the Priesthood — I received an email asking about discernment. Lacking in that department — discernment — but full of stories, here is my edited reply:

Greetings XX!

I hope this finds you well. Thanks for your note.

I dunno. My track record in this area is limited and frustrating.

As to discernment, if you don’t have one already — find a good spiritual father who will help you in the discernment process. I was first ordained Episcopalian and my mentor prior to seminary was a great help.

I remember the first time I went to an Episcopal priest about my “call” — I asked: “How did you wind up in those clothes?” Without blinking an eye he said, “Got tired of running from it.” I knew right then and there that I was a goner. That was exactly what I’d been doing for years. He then went on to say that the first time he went to a bishop to discern the “call” — the crotchety ol’ bishop said, “Son, do you pray?” The man said he did. The bishop, rather sternly replied: “Pray to God you don’t have this curse!”

[Recently, a fellow priest and I were talking] and, at the tail-end of a discussion, I said: “Well isn’t that why we got into this ‘business’ in the first place?” He said, “No, I’ve finally come to figure it out. I became a priest out of arrogance … God allows me to serve as a priest as a penance.”

I think there’s truth to all of the above.

Finally … Now that a touch of fall is in the air, many of you may be thinking “naked yoga” — am I right? If so, San Francisco is

the place to go.

(Lord have mercy)

Thanks to Brad,

here’s another humorous look at the Rather Mess.

Dennis at Vita Mea does a good job at deciphering Mr Kerry’s position on abortion; Thanks to Dawn.

James at Paradosis talks about the Ol’ Time Religion.

In other news … A preschool teacher told me today of a child whose parents are New Agers. They send the child to daycare every day telling her that if she wants to talk to them … just talk to the crystal. Did you hear me? These parents send their kid to daycare with a rock, which they encourage their child to talk to. Gosh. In my day we thought Roman Catholics were weird.

Next thing you know Halloween will be the only religious holiday allowed to be celebrated at school.

Oh wait, that’s already the case.

Can you hear me now?