Orthodixie

I work the crossword puzzles from the daily paper each weekday at work. Sometimes the clients do as well. They kid me when I make a mistake and often ask my help with clues.

The other day, just after 6:30 am wake-up, one of the clients said, “We needed your help last night. We were working one of the crossword puzzles and we needed to know the answer … Who was Jesus’ wife?”

Both Huw and I stared at him for a second, looked at each other, back to him, and in tandem, with grimace, said: “Jesus’ wife?”

“Yeah,” he said, “the clue was, ‘Who was Jesus’ wife?’ The answer’s ‘Mary’ right? Is that right? Mary? Jesus’ wife?”

Another mutual glance between Huw & I.

I mean, I’m aware of confusion caused by “The DaVinci Code” and other Gnostic stuff floating around. But the newspaper?

“No. No. Was this in the newspaper?” I asked.

“Yeah! Right, guys?” He got nods of verification from several others.

Back to Huw; then I stared out into space for a second. “You know,” I said, “I bet they mean ‘Hay-sues’ … you know, Spanish … like ‘Who was Hay-sues’ wife?’ … and the answer was ‘Seniorita’ or something.”

“Nope. I think the answer began with an ‘L’ … four letters. But I’m pretty sure it was talking about the Lord.” (Quick glance at Huw. “The Lord?” Back to the clients). “Isn’t that right guys? Wasn’t it talking about the Lord?” he asked.

Yup. They all agreed.

Dang.

“I dunno,” I said. We all went about our business for the next 10 minutes or so when …

Huw piped up: “Lady!”

Wha?

“Lady. The Lord’s wife … Lady.”

Ha! It took a little explaining to the clients but, for two guys, it was a hoot.

Lord, bless our friends and turn the hearts of our enemies.
But if the hearts of our enemies will not be turned,
then please turn their ankles, that we might know them by their limp.
Stolen from the Orthodox List.

Defying centuries of Muslim tradition and sparking a firestorm of controversy, a prominent female Islamic scholar led a mixed-gender congregation in prayers here Friday to assert the theological validity of female-led prayer and to challenge the widespread belief that only men may be imams.

Of course this was done in an Episcopal church.

Huw writes:

As an Ex Episcopalian, to read the article is to take a trip down memory lane. While I generally feel very little emotion about the Muslim religion, I currently feel for Traditionalists in a very personal way. I’m sorry to say this is only the begining.

Take a look at ECUSA to see what’s coming up.
Here’s the scoop & here.

Yup. Smells like Jesus. (God help me.)
Jesus Candle:Bob and Karen Tosterud have created and sold over 10,000 candles they claim carry the fragrance of Jesus, and they’re calling it a ministry. The Tosteruds base the candle scent on Psalm 45:8 – “Your robes are all fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia.” According to Bob Tosterud, this is a great way to experience Christ: “You can’t see him and you can’t touch him. This is a situation where you may be able to sense him by smelling. And it provides a really new dimension to one’s experience with Jesus.” From World.

Can Married Folks Be Saved?

Some people living carelessly in the world put a question to me: “How can we who are married and living amid public cares aspire to the monastic life?” I answered: “Do whatever you may. Speak evil of no one. Tell no lie. Despise no one and carry no hate. Do not separate yourself from the church assemblies. Show compassion to the needy. Do not be a cause of scandal to anyone. Stay away from the bed of another, and be satisfied with what your own wives can provide you. If you do all this, you will not be far from the kingdom of heaven. — St. John Climacus – The Ladder of Divine Ascent (Thanks to Fr Josiah Trenham.)

Sex for six year olds. (God help me X2.)
Dawn, as always, keeps us up to date on the ever-sickening Planned Parenthood. Also, thongs for progressive teens. (Complete with progressive protection to prevent the big “pr”.)

No sex story’s complete w/o those Crazy Episcopalians …
I mean, that IS the issue, no?

It is also easy to think of this merely as a story pitting armies of angry Third World traditionalists against a pack of trust fund-wielding Episcopalians who want to evolve into Unitarians with nice Christmas hymns and pretty vestments. tmatt on pecusa.

The following email, names removed, was sent to me by a pious benefactor. I found it apropos for the season — or maybe just me.


I love Lent. I always sense that an additional layer of the opaque veil affecting our vision of heaven has been lifted and that we are just one step closer. Interestingly, I am a little depressed rather than uplifted by this. Most probably the burden of my sins. Fr. N. used to say that Lent is a time when our polluted soul, as though a pool of dirty water, rests long enough for the gunk to rise to the top so that God can skim it off. That simile may not be original with him, but it certainly resonates with me, especially as we have a pond out back! That pond did not become clean until we learned to add grass carp to it, which eat the algae. Not sure I want to carry the simile any further, but you get the picture.

Last Sunday, Father N. told us about the prophet Hosea, (am I remembering the name correctly?) who had an unfaithful wife. They went out into the desert together for an extended period of time and renewed their love for each other. This “honeymoon” was a type of our Lenten honeymoon that we have an opportunity to spend with God. Lent is a honeymoon with God — that is a lovely metaphor to contemplate!

May the prayers of the Mother of God and all the saints be with you.