Orthodixie

‘Ell I’ll be … Click the above link to listen to a piece on the Theotokos that aired recently on National Public Radio.

Thanks to FWD from Kasper.

Pastfast, ME – Plans are currently underway for this year’s Lenten Superlative Awards Banquet at St Kismet, Gethsemane Falls. Last year’s gala saw a total of 13 awards being presented to the best and worst participants in the Great Fast.

“I think it’s a wonderful way to show our appreciation to those who lead the way,” said long-time member and infrequent faster, Billy Gullible. “Before coming to St Kismet’s, no one recognized my spiritual feats, perfect service attendance, swift prostrations, and longest prayer rope. Now, thanks to these awards, I have something to strive for!”

Sandy Cornfed was disappointed in last year’s Most Likely to Succeed recognition: “Early on, at the pre-Lenten Cheesefare dinner, I was voted most likely to succeed. Alas, I did horribly. I ate three cheesecakes that night … only to continue eating all through the Fast. I thought by ‘most likely to succeed’ they were speaking of my fasting! I was horrified to learn that many were actually betting on my gluttony. I mean, what kind of success is that?”

Tom Brittle, who looks like he has never eaten more than twice in his life, is currently the Ferocious Faster front runner. “Ain’t nuthin’ to it,” T-Bone says “… it’s all in the wrist.”

The wrist?

“Yup. If you abstain from using your wrist for the entire fast, no doubt about it: You tend to eat less.” (Suffice it to say no one’s seen Tom mowing his yard either.)

Betty Offded went home last year with the Humility Award. One would think that a memorable occasion. But, explains Betty, she was stripped of the award soon after: “All I did was place the award in a prominent place, on a lighted shelf, in my den … and the priest cried foul during my recent house blessing … and I lost the award.”

Ben Thurdonethat was actually arrested soon after his Alms Giving Award. The case is still pending, but sources say that the beggar that Ben kept giving money to was actually working for Mr Thurdonethat and it, therefore, does not count as alms giving and is actually an illegal form of tax evasion. However, Ben was commended for actually giving his award away.

Deacon Methuselah, last year’s winner of the Most Graceful Prostrator in a Long Black Robe award, has finally reached the age where he is being honoured with the coveted This Side of the Grave (Life Time Achievement) award which entitles the recipient to no longer do anything strenuous other than show up for services. “It’s taken a long, long time for me to attain this state,” said the 104 year old deacon.

Not everyone is up to speed on the competition, however …

Ernie Slack asks: “What’s a ‘prostration’ and can we eat ’em on fasting days?”

To which, Aida Walrus (always a little slow) asks: “What’s this about a fast?”

Stan Merr won last year’s Longest Lenten Confession award, but some cried foul: “Th-th-they thi-thi-thi-think that jj-j-jju-just because I stu stu stud d d d der … I c-can’t mu make a g-gu-ggood confes confes confession.”

The following will also be awarded:

Happiest Looking Faster Award

I Read the Rudder Religiously Award

Not to mention the most coveted —

Zero (Zilch, Nada, None) Peanut Butter Award

Alice Linsley, now an Orthodox Christian (mentioned HERE), is asked: “What would be your advice to a woman who wants to enter the ministry?”

Her answer: H E R E.

Today is celebrated the Great Feast of the Annunciation of the Archangel Gabriel to the Maiden in Nazareth — the beginning of our salvation! Click the above link for the Annunciation podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

Happy Feast & Many Years to the clergy & faithful of Annunciation Cathedral, Houston.

Meanwhile …

“As we begin with eagerness, O ye faithful, the sixth week of the holy Fast, let is sing a hymn in preparation for the Feast of Palms, to the Lord who comes in glory to Jerusalem in the power of the Godhead, that he may slay death. So with reverence let us prepare the branches of virtues, as emblems of victory; let us cry Hosanna! To the Creator of all!”

— from Sunday evening Vespers of the Sunday of St Mary of Egypt

“Today Lazarus has died and Bethany laments for him: but Thou, our Savior, shalt awake him from the dead. Through the raising of Thy friend, Thou hast given us in advance an assurance of Thine own dread Resurrection, of hell’s death and Adam’s restoration to life; and we therefore sing Thy praises.”

— from Tuesday evening Vespers of the Sixth Week of the Fast

“Desiring to save the world, He is the Creator of all came to it according to His own promise, and He that, as God, is the Shepherd, for our sake appeared unto us as man; for like calling unto like, as God He heareth: Alleluia!”

— Kontakion 10 of the Akathist of the Theotokos

“When the Absolver of all mankind desired to blot out ancient debts, of His Own will He came to dwell among those who have fallen from His Grace; and having torn up the handwriting of their sins, He heareth from all: Alleluia!”

— Kontakion 12 of the Akathist of the Theotokos

Quotes thanks to FWD from Fr Mark Mancuso.
Image Source

Here’s some pics I’ve had laying around — most are from Sunday of Orthodoxy in Houston, courtesy of parishioner Gregory Quartaro.

(Click to enlarge.)


Clergy process with icons at Vespers, St Joseph Antiochian Orthodox Church. (Right to left: me, Archpriest Matthew MacKay, Archpriest David Eckley, Archpriest Joseph Shahda in the shadows.)

This year’s host pastor, Archpriest Matthew MacKay, during the procession.

Fathers Richard Petranek, Michael Lambakis, Basil Biberdorf, and Iulian Anitei.

From the far left: Archpriest Paul Tarazi (guest preacher), Archimandrite Gabriel Karambis, Archpriest Joseph Shahda, self, Archpriest Matthew Mackay, Archpriest David Eckley, Priest Dejan Tiosavljevic, Deacon Gregory Gibson.

Deacon Joseph Carter … leads the Synodikon. (That’s Archpriest Anstasios Raptis beside Fr Paul Tarazi; Fr Florin Craioveanu, a very tall man, is blocked from view.)

Deacons Meletios Marx & Gregory Gibson hold the Gospel Book for veneration of the faithful.

St George, from the choir loft, in the dark.

The Clergy Brotherhood of St Raphael of Brooklyn, Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America, pictured here with Archimandrite Zacharias at the annual retreat.

Hey … how’d they get in here? Just some kids I’m blessed to know.

“With fear of God and faith and love, draw near!” (That’s Fr John Salem in the background.)