Orthodox Convert Furniture

My wife likes to say that she knew we were becoming Orthodox when she came home one day to a recording of Byzantine chant playing, and a censer smoking on the hearth next to a couple of icons. I remember very clear what she did that afternoon–she gestured to the couch and asked, “Do we need to remove the pews, too?”

— Richard in the Comments

Reminds me of an old Top Ten list where the number one sign that you might be an Orthodox Fundamentalist is:

1) There are no chairs in your home; you haven’t sat in years!

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Dawn @ App

Oops! Wrong picture …

D’oh!

Everyone knows that story!

Here we go:




My ol’ e-buddy, Dawn, was recently at my alma mater, Appalachian State University, Boone, North Carolina.


(I’m sure it took her at least a thousand words to explain that picture! Click the link above.)

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HOUSTON: Two Years Ago

The following is a re-post from September 24, 2005.

Route to Rita

At first, my son wasn’t excited about moving to Houston. He’d heard they had hurricanes. Fr John Salem, the priest at St George, encouraged me to tell him that it had been a long, long time since a hurricane hit Houston. Not to worry.

That, I did. I also found a house with a pool. The latter was enough to pump the boy up. Hurricane, pool. Pool, hurricane. The pool easily won.

We spent the night in the new digs on the floor, sleeping bags. There wasn’t a hotel room in the vicinity thanks to the infamous Katrina. By Tuesday morning folks were already talking about approaching weather. I had a serious parental talk with my children, especially Basil. Sometimes hurricanes do hit Houston. But, we’ll get through it.

On Wednesday the truck with most of our stuff arrived. By then preparations were underway all around us for the storm.

Silly me, I’d let them pack the coffee maker on the truck. Therefore, Mickie D’s made my coffee on Tuesday & Wednesday morning. It was on Wednesday that I heard, really heard, about the hurricane on the radio. They were going over a preparedness checklist. Dang.

So, just hours away from the arrival of all our worldly goods, the wife and I went to a grocery store at 6:40 am. It didn’t open till 7 … there was a line. So, we waited. Folks joked. The store manager opened the door with the announcement: “We have no water! I’m still waiting on a truck. There are a few batteries left by the check-out counters.” About half the people that had been waiting in line left.

We’d gotten a few things but, needing more, I came home while Elizabeth and my oldest daughter went hunting (normally called “shopping”). I told my wife, given that we have lots of camping gear — Coleman stoves, lanterns and such — to try to get lots of small propane tanks.

Just as the moving van arrived, the gals returned. Lots of water and propane. Yeah! Thing is, as it turned out, all of our camping gear missed this van and won’t be delivered until next week. (We did find a One Burner which, thank God, would be a blessing if needed.)

We were moving in. Neighbors were heading out of town. Jokes were made. That’s just what comes natural in the face of possible disaster.

One neighbor came over and asked if she could have a few of our mattress boxes. Sure. Why? She said to tape cardboard over the windows to prevent glass and debris from blowing into the house should the windows break. Oh, and, “Welcome to the neighborhood.” Something like that.

The people in Houston have been great. Never having considered Texas a part of the South (sorry, cultural bias), I have been pleasantly surprised at just how Southern it seems. Southern etiquette and conservative views prevail. Maybe it’s justification, but I’m presently mentally arranging my Southern geography to include East Texas.

The truck left Wednesday afternoon and, like an addiction, we set about unpacking boxes. The pool, we discovered, is a great babysitter.

Thursday found us taping up windows, using lots and lots of cardboard, and getting ready for what was being called an historic storm of catastrophic proportions.

Phones rang. Family, friends, and former parishioners. Praying.

It’s been wild.

Did I mention love bugs?

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BIBLE: Look Ma! No Hand!

A. J. Jacobs’ recent book writing trick: Live a whole year following all the rules of the Bible.

Unless your religion is similar to a Weird Al Yankovic video, or your Bible’s missing a whole section called the “New Testament,” reading this story about his adventure is frustrating to say the least.

Jacobs spent the year carrying around a stapled list of the more than 700 rules and prohibitions identified in the Good Book, and also consulted with religious leaders and spent time with the Amish, Hassidic Jews and Jehovah’s Witnesses.

See what I mean? It makes sense, of course, when you’re reminded that his purpose was to, let’s be real, poke fun at the Bible.

Also, during the experiment I wore a lot of white clothes, because Ecclesiastes says let your garments always be white, and I loved it, so I look like Tom Wolfe now.

The most frustrating part of the article stems, for me, from the fact that he never mentions the New Testament or Jesus. Therefore, it leads me to believe that he didn’t actually follow the whole Bible … just the ol’ rules and regs part.

Two kinds of rules were hard. Avoiding sins we commit every day like lying, gossiping and coveting was hard, and then there were the rules that were hard to do in modern life, like stoning adulterers.

See what I mean?

Well, but, come to think of it, Jacobs might now be missing an eye or a hand had he followed, literally, some of the sayings of Christ.

Image Source

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Help! There’s an iconostasis in my living room!

Back when I was an Episcopalian — and “on my way” (as the say) to Orthodoxy — I really weirded out the Missuz. Oh sure, she was ready to move on from where we were, but she was not 100% on fire for Eastern Orthodoxy!

For some reason, Orthodoxy’s funny that way, guys & gals …

I’d had a Prayer Desk — a prie deux — commissioned in seminary, which was downstairs in my study …

Well, one day, while my wife was out shopping, I spirited the Prayer Desk upstairs and placed it in the living room with an icon above it … and some prayer ropes and books around it. It was way too “churchy” for the rest of the furniture … but, I thought: “Boy, will she be surprised!”

Unh-hunh.

Ladies, you can imagine her reaction!

Then, as we moved closer to our jump to Orthodoxy, we used to gather with a couple friends from our current Episcopal church community and -– under closed blinds and behind locked doors — are you ready for this?

We would …

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio (for the rest of the story).

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