Ain’t Gonna Bump No Mo (With No Big DOWAMA)

Y’all? You ever had a wreck with a bishop in the car? Yeah, well, my involuntary bucket list is now complete (I pray)!

First of all, my bishop – who shall go unnamed, as I do not have his blessing – comes to the East Texas Deanery each year and I, as the dean, have the honor of spending a lot of time driving him from place to place.

Over the past 8 years of this dean gig, we’ve had some interesting experiences on the roads in and out of Houston.

Once we were returning from St Silouan/College Station and, just as we got into the busy Houston multiple lane highways, I saw a sign I’d never seen before. It caught my eye – attracted my attention. For whatever reason, in the dark of night, I stared at it a bit too long and we swerved toward another car. Sayidna gasped; I a righted the vehicle and he said, “Are you okay?”

I said, “Yeah … the sign back there said …”

He said, “Fr Joseph! You look at the road, I’ll look at the signs!”

Later he asked if I did that on purpose to clear his arteries. I said, “Does that work?” He said, “It did tonight!”

Just last year, I was test driving the car that I eventually bought from a parishioner – a 2014 Chevy Impala …

Listen the Orthodixie Podcast for the rest of the story.

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Part-time Hesychast, Full-time French Fry

It’s been a year since my son and I made pilgrimage to Greece & Mount Athos … and, may I be frank with y’all?


It ain’t easy being a hesychast.

Nope. Not. Easy. Atall.

Let me give you an example …

I was recently finishing up my reading of Elder Ephraim’s book, My Elder Joseph the Hesychast – on the earnest urging of my son – and, boy oh boy, is it ever intense. Not for everyone – that’s for sure. But, a worthy read, nonetheless.

As I was racing toward completion of the 700 page book, I was at my leisure in a local Lebanese restaurant where, sometime ago, I discovered their French Fry Sandwich.

Now now … I know what you’re thinking. French Fry Sandwich???

Y’all. O my. Yes. That’s what I said: French Fry Sandwich … with pickles, slaw, and, well: fries … all wrapped in delicious Lebanese flatbread.


Okay, well, here’s where my asceticism came in handy.

That day, after being served my FF Sandwich …

Listen HERE.

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The World Does Not Need More Darkness

Sermon – Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese Convention, 2019

No doubt, we live in dark times.

But, hear me out …

When I grab a flashlight – I don’t need the flashlight to tell me how dark it is!

“Whoa, dark over there! There it is, darkness! Oh boy, I’m scared of the dark!”

This is silly … we all know how LIGHT WORKS.

I don’t need the light to curse the darkness! Same as with a candle … I need the darkness to be dispersed, banished, by the light!

What I’m saying is – and I’m speaking to myself here: The world does not need more DARK CHRISTIANS. [“If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”]

God forbid that those of us who have seen the Light — who follow the Light, who have been saved by the Light — continually talk about the Dark.

One of the most uplifting hymns …

Listen HERE.

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Tupelo Huneycutt & Cross Podination

What do y’all think of the name St Elvis Orthodox Church? Okay, how ‘bout Father Elvis? Er … can we at least have a church and priest in Tupelo?

Listen to the Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio!

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New Episodes of The Orthodixie Podcast …

… coming to Ancient Faith Radio (June, 2018)!


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