Orthodixie

The news media have been responsible for some of the greatest April Fools’ Day pranks in history. In 1977, the London newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement commemorating the anniversary of the independence of San Serriffe, a completely imaginary small island nation located in the Indian Ocean. The article described the geography of the nation — it consisted of two main islands, which together formed the shape of a semi-colon; the northern one was called “Upper Caisse” and the southern one, “Lower Caisse.”

The island’s natives were of “Flong” ethnicity, but there were also the descendents of Europeans settlers who had colonized the nation: “colons.” The two groups had intermarried over the years; their offspring were “semi-colons.”

The capital of the nation was Bodoni and the national bird, the “Kwote.”
In the supplement, there were even advertisements from real companies. Texaco announced a contest whose winner would receive a two-week vacation to the island’s Cocobanana Beach. Kodak placed an ad saying, “If you have a picture of San Serriffe, we’d like to see it.”

The day it ran, The Guardian was flooded with calls for more information. Travel agents and airline companies complained to the editor because the news had been disruptive to their businesses — customers refused to believe that the islands were only imaginary.

Stolen from today’s edition of The Writer’s Almanac.

Orthodox April Fools go HERE … or here.

Recently our parish librarian reported that two Orthodox Study Bibles had gone missing from the parish library. We looked everywhere, and then it dawned on me … I said, “Look! If Orthodox people are stealing Bibles … that’s a good sign!”

You know the old Baptist trick where the pastor stands in front of the congregation and says, “Turn with me now to Second Hezechiah, Chapter 3 …”?

(I didn’t think so … Orthodox never get that joke. They always ask their neighbor: “What page did he say?”)

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinnnnnnnnnnng!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinnnnnnng!

“Hello, Second Baptist Church …”

“Yes … uh, what calendar do y’all use?”

“I’m sorry … What? What calendar do we use?”

“Yes … I mean, do y’all use the Pope’s calendar?”

“Oh, no sir, we’re Baptist!”

“Oh good … well then, what time are your Easter services?”

“Uh … sir, we’ve already celebrated Easter … but our Sunday service is at …”

The Orthodixie Podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

On Sunday, March 16th, the Orthodox Clergy Association of Greater Houston and Orthodox faithful gathered for Sunday of Orthodoxy Vespers, hosted this year by St George Antiochian Orthodox Church. The pastor of St Jonah of Manchuria Church, Fr John Whiteford, was the guest homilist. As it happened, that morning was also the falling asleep in the Lord of Fr John’s Metroplitan, LAURUS, head of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia; this coincidence is reflected in his homily, “The Reconciliation of the Russian Church.” LISTEN HERE

The gathered clergy, following the procession of icons, reciting a portion of the Synodikon.

A whole new meaning given to “Sunday-go-to-meetin’-clothes.” (Clergy seated during the homily.)

Fr John Whiteford delivering the homily. (Click here to listen.)

Following the homily, the Houston area clergy, along with the St Romanos Pan-Orthodox Chorale and the gathered faithful, prayed the Trisagion Prayers for the Departed in memory of Metropolitan LAURUS.

Pics courtesy of St George SOYO webpage.

In addition to being Greek Independence Day …

And the Great Feast of the Annunciation (new style) …

It’s the birthday of novelist and short-story writer Flannery O’Connor, born in Savannah, Georgia (1925), the only child of a rare Catholic family in the Protestant Bible Belt. When she was five, she became famous for teaching a chicken to walk backward; a national news company came to town to film the feat and then broadcast it all around the country. She said, “That was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. It’s all been downhill from there.”

Stolen from The Writer’s Almanac (3/25/08)

She was but a young maiden of Nazareth when she was visited by an angel. Unlike our first mother, who spoke with an angel in the guise of a serpent, this angel appeared as a man, Gabriel. He said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”

One would assume that such a visit from such a being would be quite unsettling. Realizing her fear, the heavenly visitor says, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.” Our human rationale can only imagine that these words calmed her heart a bit, but then followed these: “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus.”

Huh?

Have no fear?

Let’s be real!

The angel went on to sing the praises of this soon-to-be Son of hers. Mary was puzzled. She was a virgin; she had never been with a man. Again, more angelic consolation: “Have no fear. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, alas, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.”

Imagine that: Don’t be afraid …

You’re pregnant …

and God’s the father.

The angel goes on to relay more astounding news: her relative, Elizabeth, an old woman who was barren, is also expecting a child. Women, young and old – unmarried or barren – are unexpectedly expecting? Let’s be real!

Then, contrary to our worldly wisdom, the visitor says, “For with God nothing will be impossible.”

What happened next changed the course of human destiny. The response of the faithful young virgin is the beginning of our salvation: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” With these words, Mary, the virgin of Nazareth affects her salvation, yours, mine, and all mankind for all generations. Her obedience redefines reality. In being obedient to God, the New Eve breaks the curse of the Eve of old. In being obedient, she becomes the “Mother of God” – the Theotokos – the Mother of our salvation: the God-Man, Christ.

It was not easy. The angel said that with God nothing is impossible. He did not say, “Everything will be easy and everyone shall be perpetually happy.” He didn’t ask her if the child was a wanted child. He didn’t ask her how she was going to take care of her son. I mean, God knew she was faithful! Yet though he promised no happiness, it was good news.

Can this be real? Do not be fooled by the enemy. The first woman, Eve, was misled, as was Adam, by the lies of an angel in the guise of a serpent. They were in Paradise and sought a better life (notice the irony, seeking a better life while in Paradise) by eating the forbidden fruit. Better, like the fruit, turned bitter.

We, too, often find ourselves seeking to be like gods in eating of the tasty and deadly fruit of the enemy. This road, promising happiness and life, leads to bitterness and death. Who is this enemy? The tempting lies of Satan, sin and death are the real enemy. Yet, our Lord God is salvation and life. God is real. Angels are real. Temptation is real. Mary is real. If we believe and are obedient, salvation is real. It is realized by faith. Life eternal is real, for with God nothing will be impossible.

Let’s be real!

As the people of God, the Body of Christ – the Church – our salvation begins with Mary. Salvation for all men was wrought by the words of an obedient young girl 2,000 years ago. She is our example. She is the first Christian. She is the Mother of God. Our salvation begins with Mary’s obedience to Real Life in the Annunciation. She conceived in her womb the Lord Jesus. She conceived in her womb the Body of Christ, the Church. She conceived in her womb that against which the gates of Hell shall never prevail. In her womb Mary conceived. In reality, she conceived our Salvation.

Forasmuch as thou art a well-spring of tenderness, O Theotokos, make us worthy of compassion; Look upon a sinful people; manifest thy power as ever, for hoping on thee we cry aloud unto thee: Hail! As once did Gabriel, Chief Captain of the Bodiless Powers.

It is truly meet to bless thee, O Theotokos, who art ever blessed and all-blameless, and the Mother of our God. More honorable than the Cherubim and more glorious beyond compare than the Seraphim, thou who without stain barest God the Word, and art truly Theotokos, we magnify thee.

The Feast of the Conception of our Salvation – the Annunciation – is celebrated nine months before Christmas, March 25th.

Image Source